Yeah, yeah I’ve been gone a while. Look it’s not my fault. Well, I mean surely it is, but I have excuses to list, so here: 1. I was on a 3 week vacation AND 2. My internet at home is so slow that I can’t upload photos. I also can’t stream videos online, so you guys haven’t been the only ones suffering because of my slow internet. While we’re all online and running; let’s get on with the show, shall we?
First up is a parody account which, for the span of one entire football game, was the toast of my timeline. That would be of course @HornyMusburger. While America fell in love with, Katherine Webb, Musburger apparently fell into lust. Google and YouTube the incident to catch yourself up to speed. Once you do, these will be even funnier.
I almost can’t even comment. I think what makes this the most hilarious is the picture that the account is using for it’s avatar. The expression and the old man face obviously taken with technology he doesn’t understand combined with this comment makes me want to pee my pantaloons. I won’t, though, mostly because pantaloons went out of style a long time ago and I can’t risk damaging these antiques.
@HornyMusburger was not only creating excellent twitter content, he was contributing to the content of others. This guy’s tweet was mediocre at best until @HornyMusburger came into the picture and knocked it out of the park. Or kicked it through the uprights? Whatever sports metaphor is appropriate…
If you’ve read this feature ever or follow me on twitter, you might have picked up that ‘one true love’ is a term I throw around quite a bit. Looks like @HornyMusburger might be my soul mate, or one true love as it were, by also using this term. We can’t fight these things. Fate is fate.
Speaking of fate and love, I once went on a really awesome date-type-sitch on July 4th. There were drinks, a rooftop sunset and fireworks over the city below. It was pretty memorable, mostly because I was never groped through the course of the evening. Well, I wasn’t groped because my companion for the evening was the gentlemanly, @JusNice. Jus Nice is a hip hop artist who claims many locales, but South Carolina had been his home base for many years before his recent move to Atlanta. Anywho, he’s a respectful guy with has a single that might would make you think otherwise, but you can tell he’s got women’s best interest at heart:
It’s like “He’s Just Not That Into You” 2.0 for Twitter. If you want to get wifed up, don’t act like a side hoe. He later also explains that if a dude really likes you, he’ll take you to a park. If said dude takes you to Applebee’s he only wants to smash. Cross stitch that on a pillow and you will hopefully not end up a cat lady.
I was trying to come up with a joke referencing “Rub You the Right Way”, but I think I will refrain. I love a good 90s R&B reference, however, and this tweet stands alone for me as hilarious. You might even say it makes me say, “My, My, My”…ugh, I should’ve stopped while I was ahead.
I’m going to need clarification on this. What exact breed is she? Is she like a labradoodle? Everyone loves labradoodles. I also need to know what breed of woman I am, so I can know if I am different as well. If I’m not, it’s cool. It would probably be the first time in my life I was considered normal. If you want to hear some abnormally good hits, (don’t lie, you liked that) you should check out Jus Nice’s mixtape, Empty Throne, when it drops next month.
If you or someone you know has suffered due to not being featured on #TwitterThursday please tweet the law offices of Scene SC with the hashtag. A settlement or a retweet could be in your future.