Apparently every single one of you went to a concert last night.  92% of all South Carolinians were at Mumford & Sons, while some people went to see Maroon 5 and 2 people went to see The National.  I am not sure what that all adds up to because I am bad at math.  What I do know, is that I was at none of these places, as I was resigned to my couch watching a movie on Lifetime.  Yes folks, I am just THAT cool.

When I look at my timeline and see that people are living better lives than me on a Wednesday night, I seek solace in the inspirational tweets of @WaffleHouse:

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So when I was all salty because y’all are living large and I’m living like a 45 year old housewife, I just cooked up some bacon.  Problem solved.  Sometimes, though I still question why I’m here and what my purpose in life is. Waffle House rang in on that as well:

Screen Shot 2013-09-12 at 8.44.04 AMThere you have it folks!  I am living up to my special purpose.  I was born to eat bacon and no one can tell me otherwise.  But what about love?  I mean am I to talk this bacon-filled world alone?Screen Shot 2013-09-12 at 8.43.09 AMDone and done.  I have no more worries.  I have cast all my cares upon the House of Waffle and it delivered.  Well, delivered answers…I am pretty sure there’s no @WaffleHouse food delivery.  If there was such a thing, I’d probably never put on pants ever again.

Since I’m now as carefree as a stick of gum, I think I’ll take in some comedy this weekend.  Good thing my old friend and Gamecock alum @ComedianRonG is in Columbia for a few days:

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Ron’s at the Comedy House for a few days and people who like to laugh at things like this should go:
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I am not sure if I need that filter on Instagram, but I am pretty sure all my Snapchats scream “THIRSTY!”.  @ComedianRonG has more advice for the ladies:

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#SmellLikeScubaSuit.  I can’t comment any further, it’d just be a waste of effort.  Even though @ComedianRonG is #prefamous, he hasn’t forgotten his Southern roots:

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Nothing says “I’m not bougie” like enjoying a regular folk’s treat in a fancy place.  No caviar for this cat.  No, ma’am, he knows where he came from.  Pretty sure if @ComedianRonG reads this he will just call me a dream snatcher, and he’d be right.  I am full of haterade.  Oh wait, I forgot…Bacon cures that…Sorry, I forgot for a second!  Whew, crisis averted!

If you are a the opposite of a dream snatcher–a dream catcher, perhaps?–you should send @SceneSC a tweet of a Twitter account we should feature in this little column.  It’d save me some time and give @SceneSC a false sense of popularity for the day.  Don’t forget to hashtag it with #TwitterThursday, because I will have no idea what you’re saying otherwise.  Bacon.



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